Cookbook Dedication.  Five years ago, I had that dreaded call from my daughter's middle school - I needed to come down and pick her up because she was cutting herself.  I had NO idea.  I was shocked, scared, embarrassed and confused.  I never heard of this and I didn't know what to do.  The school recommended some good outside psychologists and we started the process of healing.

This weekend, I took my daughter up to Berkeley, where she will be attending next fall studying journalism or psychology.  She is currently a high school senior, a triple varsity athlete (captain of two of those sports), selected as "scholar athlete of the year", has successfully taken nine Advanced Placement classes, has a GPA of 4.2 and was granted admission to some of the most selective Universities in the country.  All of this, in spite of a very difficult Freshman year.  I want to share with you our journey.

I cannot take the credit of orchestrating the amazing "turn around" in my daughter.  I don't know if I can even tell you exactly how it all occurred, but I can tell you that my very dear friend (and then boss) Troy and his family's struggle was a main reason I survived.

As my daughter and I were going through what I learned to be a very common problem of depression among middle/high school students, I felt I was drifting through a fog.  I wondered if other people could see it or sense it just by looking at me.  By chance one day, while my boss Troy and I were waiting for a meeting to begin, I asked him for some advice.  I don't know why I suddenly felt I could talk about it or why him, but I think it was because we weren't really friends, just long time colleagues and we lived 3000 miles apart.  I explained my problems with my daughter and told him that I was thinking about moving her out of her current school in hopes of helping change things.  I remembered that he had a daughter, Rachel, a couple years older than Casey, and that they had recently moved so I asked him if he thought it would help.  So began our conversation...

I learned that he was struggling with parenting Rachel, that she had suffered from depression, was cutting and had attempted suicide.  Changing schools seemed to exacerbate the problems.  Over the year, talking to Troy helped me work through issues with Casey.  Our psychologist was very helpful, in a detached professional way, and leaning on Troy helped me feel like I was a normal parent (not perfect, but not alone).  I also felt more comfortable bringing in Casey's Dad and step-Mom to the conversation and working through ideas as a team, because now I could talk about it.  In the end, Casey and I, her Dad and step-mom worked through a plan that we all felt comfortable with.  The four of us grew close over time, and although it is still difficult to talk about that time, we all know how important that communication is with others.  And, you know how our story turned out years later.  I am so grateful for Troy having the guts to share with me his thoughts and fears.  It is because I walked in his footsteps and experiences that I could make it.  Just one conversation started so many others and started to break down the fear of a taboo subject.

Unfortunately for Troy and Rachel, they didn't have the benefit of parents helping them or sharing experiences.  Tragically, Rachel died by suicide in 2007 and everyone misses her bubbly personality and smile.   I can't help but wonder how things might have been different for them if someone took the time (and risk) to share.

This cookbook is dedicated to a lifetime of sharing...one conversation at a time.  I hope that society will learn that depression and mental illnesses are just as real (and common) as breast cancer, a topic that was taboo not that many years ago.  Imagine a future when there are programs in middle school, high school and college to raise awareness and help kids feel safe and not alone...to help turn around their outlook and support them during difficult times.  Many schools are afraid that by raising this topic, they will some how encourage it - as if kids choose to feel so helpless.  With my own three children, I have learned that by talking about depression, how common it is for kids to go through it at some point and how they can help their friends, we have become a strong family.  I can't change the school policy (yet) but maybe we can all do something in our own way to reach kids ages 11- 25 through existing programs like girl/boy scouts or new school programs like "activeminds.org" for college kids but push it down to middle/high school.  We need to find ways to start earlier and bolder in reaching out to young people.

At our home, we now hold "Foods-4-Thought" dinners where we pick a menu, invite a few friends and just enjoy the night.  Yes, it can be awkward when I first explain to the participants, especially the teens, what Foods-4-Thought is all about and how we want to raise awareness of teenage depression.  But soon we are engrossed in creating recipes and theme meal ideas or telling stories of family traditions or what a particular holiday is like in our respective homes.   Enjoy the fruits of our labor here in these pages and feel free to create your own moments.....one conversation at a time.