Parent’s Worst Nightmare

In 2007, best friends Rachel Crites and Rachel Smith took their own lives sitting in a car on a remote road in rural Virginia. Now, for the first time, the girls’ parents talk about what happened—and the warning signs they missed

By Kathleen Wheaton, Bethesda Magazine

 http://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2016/11/04/500659746/middle-school-suicides-reach-an-all-time-high?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=202704

Guest Article from Amber Speck of WriteAboutRecovery.com

Read this insightful Guest Article from Amber Speck of WriteAboutRecovery.com

Steps to Solace: Embracing Healing After Loss

The journey through grief, especially following the loss of a loved one to suicide, is both profound and challenging. This guide from Foods 4 Thought aims to provide teens with compassionate strategies for navigating this difficult period. By focusing on practical and nurturing steps, you can find a path toward healing that honors both your emotions and the memory of your loved one.

Set Achievable Daily Goals

Grief can make even the simplest tasks seem insurmountable. Begin by setting small, attainable goals each day. This could be as straightforward as making your bed, taking a short walk, or completing a small task. Such achievements, though minor, can instill a sense of control and progress in your life during a time when things may feel chaotic and unpredictable. Celebrating these small victories can also be a gentle reminder that progress in healing, no matter how small, is still progress.

Adopt Positive Lifestyle Changes

Your physical health significantly impacts your emotional well-being, especially in times of grief. Focus on nurturing your body with balanced nutrition, regular exercise, and sufficient rest. Even if you work long hours, you can still get in extra steps by taking the stairs and walking to pick up your lunch. These fundamental aspects of self-care can provide a strong foundation for your emotional and mental healing process. Additionally, consider engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as reading, art, or spending time in nature, to help soothe your mind and body.

Seek Connection with Others

During periods of intense grief, isolation can seem comforting, yet connecting with others provides vital support. Reach out to friends, family, or trusted adults. Sharing your feelings, memories, and experiences with them can foster a sense of belonging and understanding, crucial for healing. Remember, allowing yourself to be vulnerable and open with others can lead to deeper connections and shared strength in this challenging time.

Explore Grief Support Groups

Finding a community that shares your experience can be incredibly healing. Grief support groups offer a space where you can express your emotions among those who truly understand. These groups provide a sense of solidarity and can be a source of comfort and advice during your healing journey. Additionally, these groups often provide diverse perspectives and coping strategies, which can be invaluable in finding what works best for you on your path to healing.

Journal Your Thoughts and Emotions

Writing is a powerful tool for healing. Journaling allows you to articulate your thoughts and feelings, offering a private, safe space to confront and understand your emotions. This act can bring clarity, release pent-up feelings, and help you track your healing progress over time. Keeping a journal also serves as a tangible record of your journey, reflecting your growth and resilience over time.

Honor and Remember Your Loved One

Creating rituals or dedicating actions to your loved one can be a comforting way to keep their memory alive. This could be through writing letters to them, lighting a candle, or participating in activities they enjoyed. Such acts of remembrance can provide solace and a personal way to honor their life and your relationship. Additionally, these actions can evolve into meaningful traditions that keep your loved one's spirit and legacy alive in your heart.

Practice Gratitude

In the midst of grief, it may seem difficult to find things to be thankful for. However, practicing gratitude can shift the focus from loss to appreciation, even for the smallest things. Acknowledging aspects of your life that you are grateful for can bring moments of comfort and a sense of balance amidst the sorrow. Furthermore, this practice can also foster a positive mindset, which can be especially empowering in times of emotional turmoil, helping to lighten the heaviness of grief with moments of hope and appreciation.

 

In the landscape of loss, remember that your journey towards healing is uniquely yours. While the pain of loss never fully disappears, these approaches offer a way to weave the memory of your loved one into the fabric of your life, transforming grief into a testament of love and resilience. Be kind to yourself and live a healthy lifestyle, knowing that each step, no matter how small, is a part of your journey towards peace and healing.

Please take  the time  to read this Recent Article Submitted by Jennifer McGregor of the Public Health Library in Grandville MI:

What Causes Suicidal Thoughts?

Most people believe that suicidal thoughts and actions are the result of depression. While that is true to an extent, there are other reasons people can begin to experience these issues. Understanding suicidal thoughts is the first step in being able to help yourself through a difficult time. Someone who does not know the causes might believe that it is a personal fault causing the symptom while others may not believe that treatment will help them. Understanding the mechanics of your own mind is critical when it comes to mental health care. If you are suffering from suicidal thoughts, the following information may shed some light on the causes of these thoughts.

Depression is a Common Root of Suicidal Thoughts

Untreated or severe depression often leads to suicidal thoughts, which may persist or grow worse over time. The best way to handle suicidal thoughts when you have depression is to ensure you are getting quality help from a professional. 

Some people who suffer from depression may not even recognize it as depression. Education on mental health is lacking in the U.S., leaving too many people untreated and undiagnosed. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts in addition to symptoms such as loss of interest, lack of motivation, and difficulty doing daily tasks, it is possible that you have depression. 

Personal Crisis Can Cause Temporary Suicidal Thoughts

When a life-altering crisis strikes, a person may feel that her future is gone or ravaged beyond repair. Suddenly, she is left with panicked thoughts telling her that suicide is the only way out. If you experience a crisis, it is important that you either seek the support of a counselor or call a hotline. There are numbers to call in the event of a crisis as well as a suicide hotline (1-800-273-8255). While hotlines are not a permanent form of treatment, they are ideal for an emergency situation.

Abuse of Any Kind Can Also Have This Effect

Any history of abuse can leave a person at greater risk for suicidal thoughts. For some, this is the result of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). For others, the abuse alone is enough to damage their mental state, causing suicidal thoughts. In either case, the help of a professional often mitigates the traumatic effects of the abuse and limit the risk of suicidal thoughts. PTSD, in particular, should be treated immediately before the symptoms worsen.

Social Rejection is a Common Issue with LGBT People

As social creatures, we need the support and acceptance of others. For many LGBT people, their daily life experiences include hatred, rejection, and even physical violence. This consistent social rejection, particularly by one’s family, is enough to cause suicidal thoughts as well as substance abuse problems among the LGBT community. In turn, substance abuse also increases the risk of suicide as it removes any inhibitions that may have been preventing suicide. Support groups and counseling are good ways to handle this cause of suicidal thoughts.

If you have begun considering suicide, do not wait to seek help. Reach out to a hotline or a counselor and work to uncover the cause of your struggles. From there, you will be able to treat the problem at its source rather than grapple with these thoughts that can destroy both your relationships and your life. If you cannot find the motivation to get yourself help, confide in someone who can assist you in getting the support you need. Never take the risk of going untreated.

 

Accepting Grief and Conquering Addiction: 

Megan’s Story

By Christina Underwood

Being a teenager is hard. It’s a time in our lives when everything around us seems to be changing, whether we’re ready for them to or not. Perhaps one of the hardest changes we can go through in our adolescent years is losing a loved one unexpectedly. It’s a devastating experience that has a way of knocking us off our feet with a force we’ve never known before.

 

This kind of blow — on top of everything else going on in their lives — can cause some teens to fall into such despair that they lose their way in life. When Megan’s son passed away while she was still in high school, her addiction took a turn for the worst. We had the recent opportunity to speak with her and she shared her journey of grief and loss, substance abuse, and overcoming it all to put the pieces of her life back together.

 

Tough beginnings

 

Growing up in Wyoming, Megan explained that a rocky home life led to her early experimentation into the world of drugs and alcohol in her childhood:

 

“My dad and my mom drank a lot. I took care of my brother. I was sexually and physically abused. And eventually, that led to hanging around people that drank and used drugs.”

 

When she lost her son, however, Megan fell into a deep depression. Unable to pull herself out, she slowly fell away from her responsibilities.

 

“[My son’s passing] was really hard for me. I just grew so fast,” she said. “And that’s when I pretty much stopped going to school for the most part. I stopped playing basketball, and I would get to the point where I wouldn’t get out of bed unless I shot up.”

 

Her moment of clarity

 

For some in the midst of depression or a tragedy, there comes a time when it suddenly becomes obvious that something has to change. They might see it in the eyes of a concerned loved one, or look around and realize how out of control their life has become. For Megan, it was the latter — and the moment she said that saved her.

 

“One day I woke up and I looked next to me and there was a spoon, and there were used needles,” she recalled. “I had lost my house, I was living with somebody else, and the way I paid my rent was with drugs. I just woke up and had this overwhelming feeling of, ‘I can’t do this anymore. I can’t.’”

 

She picked up the phone and called Michigan’s Best Drug Rehabilitation to inquire about inpatient drug rehab. Megan said that at first she had cold feet, but her intake counselor helped her take the next important — albeit, frightening — step toward recovery.

 

“He just kept encouraging me to come. I would come up with every excuse, but he said, ‘No, you need to come,’” she remembered.

 

Even though she was afraid, Megan knew she had to find a way to take her life back and find happiness again. She just needed help getting there.

 

“Through all of it, I had this overwhelming feeling that I couldn’t do this anymore. And I just didn’t know how to stop,” she said.

 

Finding the help to heal

 

Even when they have the best intentions, people tend to see you a certain way when your life has hit hard times. Whether it’s battling depression, suffering a great loss, or becoming buried in a substance addiction, it often seems that others see you for your tragedy, not yourself.

 

But Megan said her fear of being judged disappeared the moment she walked into treatment:

 

“I just felt very, very welcomed. They didn’t look at me any different than somebody else.”

 

She added that her time in rehabilitation helped her learn to love herself again. Her counselors guided her to find the self-confidence she needed to get back on her feet, to be able to deal with her past pain and move into a happier future. Perhaps most importantly, Megan was able to see that there is light among the darkness, no matter how hopeless it seems.

 

“They helped me realize that there is a way to fix it,” she said.

 

If you’re feeling lost — whether because you’re battling depression, lost a loved one, or are struggling with substance abuse — know that it is always possible to live the happy life you deserve! We can rarely achieve that entirely on our own, so never be afraid to reach out for help.